The hopeful career advice from Octavia Spencer that just made my autumn

And a gentle reminder that if you're following your dreams, slow and steady can win the race

I have a complicated relationship with the law of attraction, and the power of positive thinking to help you achieve your goals. When I was at university I first discovered the Secret, and after I read it I felt a number of my dreams had become a reality.

Over the years I’d fallen out of love with it a little. This was partly because of various unavoidable hardships that came upon me, and also because I feel the LOA lacks an acknowledgement that everyone has a different starting point.

That said, I do feel that whatever your starting point, it works. Having trained myself into this mindset again, I’ve known some truly mind-blowing synchronicities over the last few months that felt like the LOA in action. In August I went to the Venice Film Festival with Mastercard, one of the most treasured experiences of my life. Last year, I had written myself a letter inviting myself to the Venice Film Festival and it was sat on my vision board this entire time. Attending my screening of Babygirl was Donni Davy, my favourite makeup artist, and Danielle Haim, one third of the band closest to my heart. This was my dream guest list, and of all the films on show that week they happened to be watching mine. It was real life magic to me.

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One of the things I love about the LOA is the idea that there is enough for everyone. People are hugely encouraged to follow every possible hope and dream, assured that we can all achieve our goals because we all want different things. I really do believe this, and that in mind I’m always happy to help people because I think we can all win.

Something I’m also a believer in is having the courage to ask someone more experienced for help. I’ve been incredibly lucky over the years to find generous mentors, and some of my happiest working memories are of internships. I met the kindest people as an intern, many of whom still give me their time, guidance and friendship to this day. Sali Hughes, Newby Hands – I’m looking at you.

Unfortunately, I recently had an experience where I asked someone new for some guidance and was met with a really negative outlook. They used plenty of passive aggressive means to assure me that my ideas were not of any substance, and very much tried to dishearten me. Initially I felt quite hurt, but after a few days of spiralling (classic me) I ended up theorising that if they didn’t think I could do it they wouldn’t have bothered to discourage me. Maybe I was actually onto something (or maybe I’m drunk on my positive thinking – LOL).

All of these things considered, I’ve been trying to refocus my attention recently. What am I doing right now? Am I doing it well enough, how can I do it better? And what do I really want? I’d spoken to several friends about wanting to try new things, like channel my love for beauty into more avenues, like interviews with backstage beauty teams on film and TV. Like LOA clockwork once again, I received an invite to a day called ‘Trailblazers’ hosted by Amazon Prime Video.

Some of my favourite recent films have been from Prime. (Did you see Upgraded? We’ll talk about Cami Mendes another time. I have a huge soft spot for her.) On Tuesday, Prime invited us to a series of talks with some of their entertainment team so that we could learn more about what they have to come. The whole focus was celebrating their female trailblazers, so we heard from executives, actresses, directors, producers and more.

Among the speakers was Octavia Spencer, one of my all-time favourite actresses. I gasped when she came out! It was so lovely to see her in person, she comes off as so warm and friendly. I mean, name me another celebrity that largely uses their platform to wish everyone a happy birthday?!

In conversation with Jennifer Salke, head of Amazon MGM Studios, Octavia told us a little of her backstory. “Becoming an actress was me relieving myself of the dreams my mom had for me. She wanted me to be something else, like a doctor, but I’m a hypochondriac so that wouldn't have worked. She passed away when I was 17. I knew I needed to do what was in my heart, and follow the best advice my mom ever gave me: whatever choose to do, you have to train.

“I started as a PA, like an intern, in the entertainment business. It was like working in the mail room. I learned to really value the crew and how important their part in everything is, and also the importance of being professional. It’s all the basics: being on time, being prepared. As an actress, the more prepared you are, the more you can work with abandon and embody characters. It also made me think like a producer, and learn important lessons like ‘time is money.’”

Initially, she began to tell us about a new Prime series she’ll be part of. “I was in a production deal with Skydance. They'd been working on this project without me knowing and they wanted me to get involved. Tessa (Coates, the writer) has this way of telling a story that you're on the edge of your seat. I felt like a little girl getting a bedtime story wondering ‘and then what happened?’ She told me about the story. It centres around two friends, both women of a certain age, who have known each other for 20 years. You think you know a person, but, my best friend? She’s kind of an assassin.

“I’m not supposed to buy it in the room, but I was in. I guess I just bought it in the room. And then when Hannah Waddingham came in, it was the same. She had the same body language, leaning in, nodding.” It’s currently untitled, coming soon, but Octavia said it was the project she has been most excited to share out of anything else she’s done.

Once she’d told us all about this, Jennifer asked her if she had any career advice for people in the room who were wanting to pursue creative projects. This was the part of the day that lit a little fire in me.

“The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that it is not a solitary journey: all of the things you're about to learn, and the craft you'll hone, it will be amazing. Find your tribe, the people you will collaborate with. I'm still friends with the people I met in Hollywood nearly 30 years ago. A lot of the jobs I'm doing now were born out of friendship, or working on each other’s student projects. It might take you 5 years to be an overnight success. It took me 15 years to be an overnight success. Good luck, and I'm excited for you!

All of these things rang true for me in such a huge way, and they made me reflect on the person who was so negative. Someone happy in themselves would only want the best for anyone else. How crucial for Octavia to emphasise finding your tribe? She’s right – we all need to help each other, and with the right people, everything is easier and also more fun! And saying ‘good luck’, and ‘I’m excited for you’? These are words that come from a place of knowing there is enough for everyone.

The other thing that hugely inspired me was her sharing that it had taken her 15 years to become an overnight success. Finding my feet in my career has been a slow burn. I started out interning and wanting to be a beauty journalist, but for one reason or another there was never quite a role for me. I nurtured a blog alongside working full time, trying to be proactive and making examples of my writing. I spent days off either writing it or investing in trains and trips to London to put myself out there. Only eight years later did things start to fall into place for me.

Even today, living in Birmingham when my industry is largely in London, is a struggle. I find myself constantly asked “when are you next in London?” or told “you should have told me you were coming” like the £100+ that it costs me for each trip is growing on trees. To know that Octavia had a slow burn too? It’s been the most inspiring thing I’ve heard in a long time. It makes me feel like I still have time to carve my path, and I’m more determined than ever to try new things that feel right to me regardless of the feedback.

I suppose I wanted to share this with you to remind you that if things are taking a bit longer to fall into place for you, it’s not just you, and a lot of us are in this together! Let’s take our time, embrace the autumn months for a regroup and recharge, and who knows what might be in store on the other side. And if I could suggest two things that truly make a difference to me? Make yourself a physical vision board. And download the Secret Daily app.

Thank you so much to the Amazon Prime Video team for having me on Tuesday. To hear all about all of your efforts for women in the industry, and hear from such inspiring speakers about the genuine highs and lows of taking a creative path, was a moment that has really inspired me to keep trying my new ideas.

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